Before my kids were born, I was petrified at the thought of the labor pains, bringing up baby, losing my life, ending my career, taking on responsibility for another life, and honing another individual… But my fears were short-lived. They magically vanished the minute I heard the doc confirm my pregnancy – both times.
Yes, it’s a blessing to be pregnant. A greater blessing to be a mother. And I wouldn’t exchange it for anything in the world.
With my kids, I live my second childhood – more aware of what it really means to be carefree and fearless…
I learned skiing (kind of properly) with my son – I was 34! My four-year-old son encouraged me. I did it for him. I did not want the fear of falling, of heights and speed, which are so deeply ingrained in me to be sensed by him! I learned about healing herbs and making presents from the heart through my daughter. Ahem, and also a few ballet moves of late I must admit! As a little girl, I always wanted to learn ballet but the opportunity never presented itself. While my son taught me the basics of Piano, my daughter re-taught me the lost art of strumming the guitar and singing along. They both encouraged me to join their Karate class – which I did for a while – another childhood dream come true!
Just last week, I went running down hills with them – and made a movie in slow motion. My son was behind the camera this time! We laughed till our sides hurt! We rolled through the wild daisies and ran through fields of bright yellow wild buttercups – sneezing and glowing gold with pollen all over! Then we headed out on the trottinette or scooter. I had never done this before! My daughter talked me into it – and wheeeee – what fun it was! Our next halt was at a small farm where we petted the horses and sheep, played with the neighborhood cat – and without washing our hands (the mother in me was on a break, I guess) set out to eat the apples we were carrying with us.
Oh, it all felt so good – so pure, so free… and it took me to my own childhood with my mother. She was the free spirit who believed in elves and fairies as she did in karma and goodness. She taught me to have faith in my beliefs and walk the path of life with my head held high. She insisted that life full of fun – with roller coasters that sped you through time, making you experience the highs and the lows, the ups and the downs. If you were to live – really LIVE – you’d have to play along and take the rough with the smooth.
I began realizing what it takes to be a good and a strong mom. It’s the moments and memories created that continue live in the deep crevices of the head and heart. The map of love ingrained into your being through childhood experiences that takes you through life – enjoying every emotion, every action, every reaction.
I feel blessed to be my mother’s daughter. And now – to experience motherhood up-close.
My kids are 2 years apart. Birthing them to watching them grow, and growing with them has been such a pleasure. Fortunately for me, neither of them were colicky babies, nor did they go through the terrible twos phase. Bless them… for I know I am blessed. The troublesome teens is what I am a touch worried about. . But that’s still a while away – another few years. Till then – I shall match step to step in their dance of growing up joyfully! The road ahead promises to be an exciting one, too!