Once again, I feel sick as I hear the constant, incessant set of complaints:
- Oh God, it’s the kids again!
- There’s always so much to do with children!
- When will they grow up?
- Me-time? Haah!
- Couple-time? What’s that again?
Yes, women are often told to not be harsh of themselves. To not judge themselves. To not think they are superwoman and not try to be one either.
But over the years, after rattling off the above statement to many – and even making those my personal mantra, I decided to taka a closer look at the ‘poor-mum-syndrome’. The flip side of trying to take it easy, being non-judgmental of self, and being ‘only human’. And what I saw was not pleasant.
A blame-game under a garb of lethargy.
This is true not just of some of the mothers, but also many of the dads…
Hear me out – honest to the core of my heart – I totally understand that there can be moments of frustrations, moments of anger – but these are just ‘moments’ – not your entire life with your children! Why let these moments weigh you down?
Why have kids if you don’t want them? For the society? For your family? For yourself? If it’s for the latter – why complain? If for the former – blame yourself! You made a decision that wasn’t right for you. That done – you can’t turn the clock back! The fun of making a baby is short-lived, the fun of bringing up a child can be made into a joyful event for atleast a decade-and-a-half! So, get on with parenting… now you are one – by fluke or for whatever reasons – look at parenthood as a boon and fall in line with trying to make your life livable and lovable around your kids – however irritating you may find them… Once you get to doing that – you will see a positive effect and your ‘normally difficult’ kid will change with you and your attitude.
Nothing in life is predictable, or as per your exact defined design. Then, why the frustration when it comes to your children?
And if frustration is a pretence – for what? To show that you have your hands full? We all do. For whom? The society. Well, it’s an ugly form of pretence – one to loathe actually. Why? To cover up your inadequacies and give a reason to your own shortcomings. Easy blame-game here. Ugly to the core! Face your reality.
Of course, there’s tonnes to do with kids. Enjoy it! Why don the serious ‘grown-up’ garb and make life boring just because you’re the mum or dad. Lighten up!
Blossom with your babies. Trust me – you will never ever have been happier…
Before you know it, they would have grown up and grown into lovely individuals or angry ones – depending on how you’ve shaped them – depending enormously on how your attitude has been towards them – advertently or inadvertently. They are – but a reflection of the way you bring them up.
Couple-time and me-time is something you need to make – with and without kids. So shed that lazy mantel of yours, face facts – do yourself a favour. Accept. Enjoy. And make that positive change within and around you.
Stop blaming your kids for your incompetence to handle your own life!